Sunday, 12 January 2014

Rough Day

Ultimate Fat Burning Workout
I felt: Self-pitying at some points, loving at others. It was a bit of a roller-coaster, not helped by pregnancy hormones.

I thought: About how other families with special needs children cope without any help. Since our son was about 6 weeks old, we've always had someone come in to help, even if just for a couple of hours a day. Now, we've had three weeks of a lot less help than usual, with none at all for the last 24 hours, nor the next 24, and I was in tears several times today. I feel pathetic that I can't cope by myself, but he takes so much care, mental and physical, it's really exhausting.

I slept: 8 1/2 hours in 6 chunks.

I worked out:  40 minutes of the Firm's Ultimate Fat Burning Workout, with Alison Davis-McLean. I liked this a lot better than the other of her workouts I tried. There wasn't too much high-impact, and while they recommended using 2-5lb weights, I used my 2.5k weights (5.5lbs) and felt strong. It was also funny to see Jennifer Galardi as one of the background exercisers, as she's since moved on to doing her own workout dvd's under her own name, rather than just as "Firm" talent.

I ate:  15g chocolate after lunch, and about 80g chocolate and 65g biscuits after dinner. Total 160g, not too bad given the circumstances.

I am grateful for: My DH, who took the night shift with our son so I could at least get some sleep, and took him for his bath while I worked out.


  1. Oh I am so sorry. You have good cause to feel exhausted and upset. Nothing at all shameful in that. I genuinely think it is good and healthy that you get help with your son. I hope you get more help very soon.

    Though my situation is not as challenging as yours, my daughter does suffer pretty extreme mood swings and other very tiring behavior. I find myself very drained being around her when she cries, complains, gets defiant, angry, or simply refuses to do anything we suggest. Many days are still a struggle and there has been a recent uptick in this behavior and I am not sure why. It is hard not to feel discouraged as a parent, or as if you are failing. But your feelings are totally normal.

    Sending love and self care,

    1. Thank you for your kindness, MM, it means a lot.

      Sorry to hear P is playing up again! The emotional stuff is really tough and draining, I'm sure, when I think of how tired I feel after a crying jag. I consider myself lucky that at least my son is very good natured. Though at the moment he's going through a really rebellious phase - looking at me and smiling as he does the opposite of what I said. Still, he isn't malicious, just pushing his boundaries, and unaware of a lot of the dangers around him. Unfortunately, it means running around after him a lot more, and catching/holding/carrying him more, which given he's bigger and I'm pregnant, isn't doing my back any favours. As you say, oy ve :D
      Sending you much love, too,

    2. That looking and smiling while he misbehaves is a perfectly normal stage in childhood development. It's probably hard to, but you could look at it as a good sign! The boundary pushing and testing you -- all good signs! It's the same thing all toddlers do, boundary pushing without fully understand cause and effect. The fact that he's doing this at his size can't help your back, I'm sure! I hope your helpers get back to their regular schedule soon. :)

    3. Hi Eowyn,
      It's ironic, I think my normal tendency would be to feel quite laid back - kids get bumps and bruises all the time. However, because a fall can do him so much harm I've become really jumpy. So, though I totally get that him being rebellious is normal and good, it's also quite scary.
      I have a friend who never wanted kids because she knew she'd be a paranoid wreck. Now I have a better understanding of what she meant :D