Breakfast Bowls

The other morning, I glanced at the back of my granola packet, and was stopped short by the image on it.  It showed a bowl heaped high with cereal, and yet I'd just been thinking how quickly I got through the packet, and wondering exactly how much I was eating.  


So, I weighed it, and found I was eating more than twice the recommended "portion".  But it didn't look like I was eating that much…

Getting out my camera and my scales, here's how it goes…  Here's my regular breakfast bowl, with my regular amount of fruit:

And here is the smallest bowl I have in my cupboard, that I rarely use, because it's so small:

You can see their relative sizes:

And here is a "portion" of granola in the small bowl:

This is how much I actually tend to eat, and have done every day while I've lost 8 kilos (seventeen and a half pounds) over the course of 4 months:

So, this is how my actual breakfast looks!  

It's far more than a "portion", but I feel healthy and strong, slim and toned.  I work out every morning, and I'm breastfeeding.  Maybe at some point I will have to change how much I eat, but for the moment I feel kind of angry at the manufacturers.  Firstly, because of their extremely misleading packaging, and secondly because of their ridiculously small "portion" size.

Sweet Reminder

Last week, I had one evening where I ate about 9 dates after dinner, as well as some nuts.  I felt sick afterwards.  The next night, I probably ate about the same total weight of snacks, but it was mainly nuts with just 2 dates.  I felt fine.  A good reminder that sugar is nauseating in excess, even in this very natural form.

I'm using this as a reminder to myself - it's better to eat non-sweet things, even as treats.  Not just in terms of weight, but in terms of how I feel in myself!

It also emphasises for me why I don't want to follow cookbooks like Deliciously Ella.  She's still working on the basis of making yourself sweet treats and finding "substitutes" for unhealthy things.  I don't want to "allow myself" sweet treats if they're going to make me feel ill in the long run, and hide the fact that really I just shouldn't be overdoing the sugar, no matter what the source.  I mean, I just hopped over there, and she's touting a "healthy" version of salted vanilla almond butter cup chocolates!

Cravings!

Hotel Chocolat Salted Caramels, if you must know ;)

On Christmas Day, I decided to allow myself some biscuits and chocolate, after three and a half months without.  I quite enjoyed it, didn't eat a ridiculous amount, and overall felt good about the whole thing.  That is, until the cravings set in the next day!

Three days of sugar cravings!  I listened to the 'Craving Buster' meditation I have every day, which definitely helped.  Still, it was a real eye-opener to the addictive nature of sugar.  Probably, at the outset I had the power of enthusiasm and novelty on my side.  Certainly, I was surprised how hard it was to stay off sugar after just one day back on, and how long the cravings lasted.  In the meditation there's a line about 'the cravings will pass, and you can handle a little discomfort, can't you?'  Yes, I could, but three days is not my idea of fleeting!

By the fourth day, though, the cravings had abated, and it became easy again.  Before that, I'd even stopped using the hypnotherapy app on a daily basis, as I no longer felt the need.  And I think I may be able to do that again, now the cravings have been tamed.  Scary, though, how powerful sugar is!  And I shan't be dipping my toe back in the sugar pool so lightly again, that's for sure...

Perception

Yesterday, my MIL was over for a visit.  She's been pretty stressed out, and has put on some weight, so I told her about my weight loss through hypnotherapy.  I said I'm down to a size 10 (that's an American size 6) for the first time in over a decade.  She said something about hoping I wasn't planning to lose any more weight and looked concerned when I said I wouldn't mind losing a little more. 

Perception is a funny thing.  Looking at my belly while sat on the toilet this morning, I thought 'I really need to lose some more weight'.  I don't think I look slim, let alone skinny.  Then, I did a weigh in and I have dropped a bit more:

58.1k (128lbs)

When my MIL asked why I would want to lose more weight, I found it hard to put into words.  I think for the amount of exercise I do I still look rather flabby rather than defined.  And yet, I know I'm now just under my 'ideal weight' according to my general doctor, who I'm sure is happy to have someone within two kilos either side of that.  I'm going for a health check on Wednesday, in any case, so it'll be interesting to see what they say then.  I'm hoping to pass with flying colours :D

Second Weigh-In

Mythical Goddess Tarot

So, I normally try to separate out my weigh-ins a bit more.  Still, I felt a bit down after the last one, and given that I've eaten well the last few days, and that there may have been a hormonal component, I decided to give it another go today.  And I'm glad I did, as I'm back to the previous number.

Weight - 58.5k (approx.128.5 lbs)

I'm really glad my new plan seems to be working, I was feeling worried I'd start heading in the wrong direction, a sometimes slippery slope.  And especially disappointing as I've been working hard both physically and emotionally to get where I am.  In some ways, I'd be happy to stay at this weight, and in other ways I'd still like to lose another 3.5k (7.7lbs).  We'll see...

A New Plan (and New Jeans)

Yesterday, I did a weigh-in.  Once again, I wasn't feeling great about it, but I did it anyway.  And the results were... a little disappointing.  I'm up about half a kilo (one pound).

Weight - 59.2k (130lbs)

What I put this down to is the fact that I've been eating a lot of dried fruit and nuts after dinner.  I'd go so far as to call these binges.  Now, as I'm doing everything else fine (working out daily, with a range of different workouts: weights, step, static bike, pilates, yoga), it's not too dreadful.  Still, a pound every couple of weeks could quickly add up.

And I'm having no luck stopping these binges with the hypnotherapy apps that I've got.  I don't know if this is because there isn't an app specifically for bingeing, or if this is based on stuff that is too primal for hypnotherapy to reach (an idea another psychotherapist friend raised).  Either way, I realise I need a new plan to take this into account.

I don't want to stop eating and enjoying fruit and nuts (which I could probably manage with some of the craving buster apps).  So, what I'm going to try is to make up a plate with treats after dinner, and have just that plate.  That way, I have my treat, but have it in a controlled manner.  I tried this last night, and it worked, so fingers crossed.

On a more cheerful note, I went shopping for new jeans yesterday, a size down from the last ones I bought.  It feels good to be wearing jeans that fit me again, and knowing that they are a smaller size than I've worn for several years :)

How Deep Can I Go?

Crystal Visions Tarot

Did a weigh-in yesterday, and was pleased to see that I've dropped again, if only slightly:

58.5 k (128 lbs)

Overall, I've been incredibly happy with the positive changes I've achieved listening to these hypnotherapy apps.  The only thing I notice is that I still eat more than I'd like just before bed, even if now it's nuts and dried fruit rather than chocolate and biscuits.

Talking with a psychotherapist friend this morning, she said her ex had looked into hypnotherapy, but felt it couldn't deal with complex issues rooted in early childhood.  That may well be what's happening here.  My mother used to breastfeed me to get me to sleep as an infant, and perhaps it's that memory of something sweet and soothing as I drifted off to sleep that keeps this habit so tightly hooked in... Makes me worry about breastfeeding my baby to sleep :(