I felt: Tired.
I thought: About my grandma (maternal). I watched an episode of Criminal Minds where they talked about assisted suicide. My grandma was a trained doctor, though while she was married to my grandpa he wanted her to run a shop, which he thought was more of an appropriate profession for a woman :/ After they divorced, she had a couple more kids, practised as a doctor again, and ended her career going around teaching sex education in schools.
When she was hospitalised, she knew her way around the system, and after having said goodbye to all of her family, and having reconciled herself with death, one day she unplugged herself from everything and took an overdose. She didn't want to spend months or years deteriorating in a hospital bed. I was very impressed and proud of her, I feel that way, too.
It's interesting, because the son she had by her first marriage (who stayed with my grandpa) married a model, but the sons she had by her second marriage, where her husband supported her to do what she wanted, both married doctors (one medical, one veterinary). Likewise, my mother is another strong woman, who always told me I could do anything I set my mind to :)
I slept: 5 3/4 hours in 6 chunks :((
I worked out: 50 minutes static bike and 13 minutes stretch and abs.
I ate: 146g chocolate and cranberry brownie - yummy! Kinda wished I'd only eaten half, but that just wasn't happening.
I am grateful for: The strong role models in my family
Wow, that's amazing. My two grandfathers both committed suicide but it was the usual get-drunk- and-shoot-oneself-in-the-head version. (Sorry to be graphic, but it is actually true.) Your grandmother's death seems to have been much more peaceful and considered.
ReplyDeleteIt's also interesting the apparent legacy you've noticed with who the sons chose as partners.
Yikes, that is a rather more male kind of suicide, isn't it? Whereas, I saw my grandma's suicide as showing strength and a happy acceptance of death on her own terms.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, I'd never thought about the legacy with my uncles until Sunday - I guess cos I just take my family as my family, and don't normally analyse them...
What an amazing legacy you have! Your grandmother sounds like quite an impressive woman, as does your mom...and as do you! So it sounds like it will only continue. :)
ReplyDeleteI think dealing with death on any level requires bravery. It's a topic that has always seemed scary for me. I hope I learn to embrace the concept, but that may be a long time coming. I hope I don't have to deal with it for a while yet...
Huggles,
MM
I hope you don't have to deal with it for a while, either! Still, I think it's quite good to think about in some ways. For example, I had some friends at Uni who were always talking about living long enough to be able to put their brains into a cyborg or some such. Whereas, reading vampire stories, I always thought there were a lot of downsides to immortality. While I don't want to go quite yet, I don't want to live forever, and I don't want to be just kept alive by machines. Life is for living and enjoying!
DeleteYes, I'd rather go like my dad. True he was young at 74, but he was up on the roof fixing it one week, and the next week he was gone. He had leukemia and didn't know it. He was diagnosed and they took him off his Warfarin to start chemo and he had a stroke. It was the stroke that killed him, though the cancer would have got him eventually. Still he was vital up until the last three days. I'd rather that than 20 or more years waiting to die, like my husband's mother is currently going through.
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty ironic. Still, as you say, I wouldn't mind going like that! Active and engaged to the last :)
DeleteYour grandmother sounds like a wonderful woman. You are lucky, indeed, to have powerful role models in your life. I'm just getting caught up and enjoying seeing what you've been up to. Sorry for the heat! I know it reaches a point where it's just miserable. I hope you find ways to keep cool.
ReplyDeleteYay, lovely to *see* you again, Siddaleah! And yes, I consider myself very lucky to have had such positive female role models in my life. They weren't perfect, but then again, who is? Like my mum, who was always dieting when I was younger, or my grandma who never let her husband see her without her dentures. We all struggle with some area where we don't accept ourselves, I guess. Still, they were also strong, and believed they could do something worthwhile even if they were a bit heavier than they wanted, or aging and losing teeth, and for that I am truly grateful :)
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