Friday, 19 July 2013

Frantic Friday


I felt: Majorly stressed. More bad news came through, which meant I had to reorganise work schedules for the next two weeks. Ack!
I thought: About what it means to me to age. It makes me feel I could never be thought of as beautiful, which seems ridiculous, as there are other mature women who I think look lovely. So, I guess there's something there about not feeling my age, or not yet accepting myself as an older woman.

All this was triggered by a neighbour who came round just as I was about to work out, who said I looked like a twenty year old. So not true, but I guess I did have my hair up in a ponytail, and form-fitting clothes, neither of which she's used to seeing. Plus she's in her late fifties, so 15 years or so older than me. I think she looks lovely, but definitely in a grey-haired, mature way. Whereas I'm still fighting my grey...


I slept: 7 3/4 hours in 3 chunks - yay!

I worked out:  61 minutes of Step with Christi Taylor's Still Steppin'. I used to love Christi Taylor's workouts, though this one was never a favourite. Still, I was reminded by today why I haven't done any of her workouts in so long. Even though it didn't seem high impact, my feet hurt by the end. She's just so darn bouncy! I used to love that, but I can't handle it any more. Hell, she even bounces in the cool down!

I ate:  60g choc chip cookies, 59g choc fudge brownie frozen yoghurt.

I am grateful for:  My DH being home.
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5 comments:

  1. Magic Mentha20 July 2013 at 00:41

    Aging is hard for everyone, I think! People act like it isn't sometimes, but it is.

    I would LOVE to be comfortable with aging (and eventually with death), but I realize it's a process.

    I have had weird thoughts about aging even as a teenager or younger. I mean, I always felt very aware of the concept of mortality.

    My mom said I talked about being afraid of death or being attacked as young as age 2! Makes you wonder about past lives, doesn't it?

    For the record, I think you are YOUNG, and you are beautiful, inside and out.

    Love,
    MM

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    Replies
    1. Neopagan Priestess20 July 2013 at 07:12

      Aww, you're a sweetie, MM! :)

      Interesting, that you were concerned with death so young. My middle brother was like that - his parents (my dad and stepmom), ended up taking him to a psychologist when he was about seven. His way of coping with those thoughts was to become very spiritual - by the age of 20 he'd already spent some time in a buddhist monastery! So, maybe some of your spirituality comes from that awareness :)

      It's weird, I have less of a problem with death than I do with ageing. I can think of times or situations when I would welcome death. Not so with getting old :( Hmm, guess I'm gonna have to come to terms with it, as I'm not at all suicidal, and I am getting older...

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    2. Siddaleah20 July 2013 at 07:24

      I'm in the same camp as MM and your brother. My parents had quite a time with me when I was younger, and I struggle with my mortality to this day, not all day everyday, but with some regularity and varying intensity.

      I'm also the same as you when I think about aging. Sometimes I think, "If I don't lose weight in the next year or two, it's all over for me. I'll never be beautiful again." Silly, really. Oh, and I'm still fighting my gray hair too. It's a pain in the butt, though, and I'm wondering at what age I'll be okay with just letting it go.

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    3. Neopagan Priestess20 July 2013 at 21:02

      I know, so many women look lovely with grey hair, I'm just not quite ready to be one of them, somehow...

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    4. Siddaleah20 July 2013 at 21:18

      Same here. :-)

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