Perception

Yesterday, my MIL was over for a visit.  She's been pretty stressed out, and has put on some weight, so I told her about my weight loss through hypnotherapy.  I said I'm down to a size 10 (that's an American size 6) for the first time in over a decade.  She said something about hoping I wasn't planning to lose any more weight and looked concerned when I said I wouldn't mind losing a little more. 

Perception is a funny thing.  Looking at my belly while sat on the toilet this morning, I thought 'I really need to lose some more weight'.  I don't think I look slim, let alone skinny.  Then, I did a weigh in and I have dropped a bit more:

58.1k (128lbs)

When my MIL asked why I would want to lose more weight, I found it hard to put into words.  I think for the amount of exercise I do I still look rather flabby rather than defined.  And yet, I know I'm now just under my 'ideal weight' according to my general doctor, who I'm sure is happy to have someone within two kilos either side of that.  I'm going for a health check on Wednesday, in any case, so it'll be interesting to see what they say then.  I'm hoping to pass with flying colours :D

Second Weigh-In

Mythical Goddess Tarot

So, I normally try to separate out my weigh-ins a bit more.  Still, I felt a bit down after the last one, and given that I've eaten well the last few days, and that there may have been a hormonal component, I decided to give it another go today.  And I'm glad I did, as I'm back to the previous number.

Weight - 58.5k (approx.128.5 lbs)

I'm really glad my new plan seems to be working, I was feeling worried I'd start heading in the wrong direction, a sometimes slippery slope.  And especially disappointing as I've been working hard both physically and emotionally to get where I am.  In some ways, I'd be happy to stay at this weight, and in other ways I'd still like to lose another 3.5k (7.7lbs).  We'll see...

A New Plan (and New Jeans)

Yesterday, I did a weigh-in.  Once again, I wasn't feeling great about it, but I did it anyway.  And the results were... a little disappointing.  I'm up about half a kilo (one pound).

Weight - 59.2k (130lbs)

What I put this down to is the fact that I've been eating a lot of dried fruit and nuts after dinner.  I'd go so far as to call these binges.  Now, as I'm doing everything else fine (working out daily, with a range of different workouts: weights, step, static bike, pilates, yoga), it's not too dreadful.  Still, a pound every couple of weeks could quickly add up.

And I'm having no luck stopping these binges with the hypnotherapy apps that I've got.  I don't know if this is because there isn't an app specifically for bingeing, or if this is based on stuff that is too primal for hypnotherapy to reach (an idea another psychotherapist friend raised).  Either way, I realise I need a new plan to take this into account.

I don't want to stop eating and enjoying fruit and nuts (which I could probably manage with some of the craving buster apps).  So, what I'm going to try is to make up a plate with treats after dinner, and have just that plate.  That way, I have my treat, but have it in a controlled manner.  I tried this last night, and it worked, so fingers crossed.

On a more cheerful note, I went shopping for new jeans yesterday, a size down from the last ones I bought.  It feels good to be wearing jeans that fit me again, and knowing that they are a smaller size than I've worn for several years :)

How Deep Can I Go?

Crystal Visions Tarot

Did a weigh-in yesterday, and was pleased to see that I've dropped again, if only slightly:

58.5 k (128 lbs)

Overall, I've been incredibly happy with the positive changes I've achieved listening to these hypnotherapy apps.  The only thing I notice is that I still eat more than I'd like just before bed, even if now it's nuts and dried fruit rather than chocolate and biscuits.

Talking with a psychotherapist friend this morning, she said her ex had looked into hypnotherapy, but felt it couldn't deal with complex issues rooted in early childhood.  That may well be what's happening here.  My mother used to breastfeed me to get me to sleep as an infant, and perhaps it's that memory of something sweet and soothing as I drifted off to sleep that keeps this habit so tightly hooked in... Makes me worry about breastfeeding my baby to sleep :(

Nervous Weigh-In

I've been feeling a bit worried the last week or so.  For one thing, I've fallen asleep during my hypnotherapy sessions a few times, as the baby hasn't been letting me sleep all that well.  And my elder son's health problems probably haven't helped, either.  I thought it might not have been as effective, because of that, as well as not getting enough sleep being bad for weight loss.

Still, I have stayed away from chocolate, biscuits and cakes, though I've eaten rather more nuts and dried fruit than I'd like.  And I have exercised every day, alternating between static bike, step, weights, pilates and yoga.  Altogether, though, I was worried that my weight loss would have stalled, or that I might even be gaining weight again.

So, it was with some trepidation that I stepped on the scales this morning, and was very pleasantly surprised to see: 
58.9k (129.9 lbs)

Morale Booster

Courtesy of Onelifewell.com

Last week, I weighed myself but was only down 0.3k, which I figure is within the margin of error of a bathroom scale and the natural fluctuations of a body over the course of a day.  It felt a bit disappointing, which made me think about why I'm making the changes I am. 

A big part of it is for the health benefits, as I saw fat laying down around my belly - very unhealthy!  Another part is wanting to be a good role model for my children, as they say eating sugar is particularly bad for the developing brain.  And then there's the part where I'd like to look good naked, especially given how trim my partner is.

To help when chocolate cravings hit, as well as still listening to hypnotherapy meditations daily, I've been reminding myself that even if I don't loose a pound, it's still a great thing to not have eaten chocolate, biscuits or cake for nearly six weeks.  Still, it has been a bit tougher this week, perhaps because sweets are more omni-present in the run up to Halloween/Christmas.

It helped my morale when today's weigh in had me under 60k for the first time in years!

59.8k (131.8lbs)
BMI 21.7

I'm still not sure whether to try to avoid chocolate entirely over Christmas.  There's one part of me that enjoys this healthier eating, and another bit that thinks "But it's Christmas!"  We'll see...

Slow And Steady

Another week or so has gone by, and I decided to do another weigh-in.  I've still been using the hypnotherapy for weight loss apps every day.  And while I didn't feel I'd done as well with my eating, having eaten an awful lot of nuts a couple of evenings in a row when stressed and tired, I have at least stayed away from sugary stuff.  I also did yoga once, on top of my regular rotation of weights, cardio, static bike, step and cardiopilates.  So, I was hopeful when I got on the scales:

60.8k (130 lbs) 
BMI: 22.3

Mindifi + Weigh-In

Well, I've been listening to hypnotherapy apps every day, mostly the Mindifi one for Weight Loss (available for iPhone and Android), for about three weeks.  And for over two weeks of that, I've eaten no junk food!  When I've wanted a treat, I've eaten a couple of dates, and some nuts.  I've also been exercising daily still (well, that hardly ever changes).  So, today seemed a good time to do a weigh-in:

61.6k (135.8 lbs)

I feel really good about this.  Not only because I've lost weight, but more to the point because I'm eating healthily.  Already, three people have commented on me looking slimmer, and I notice that the fat around my stomach is starting to come off.  That was one of my main motivators to start eating better again.  My weight wasn't actually too bad, but I could see that a lot of it was round my middle, which they say is the least healthy kind of fat.

I have been tempted a few times, but I hope I can keep this up as a general way of life.  Will definitely keep listening to the hypnosis apps!

Hurray For Hypnosis Apps!

Been listening to hypnotherapy apps on my iPhone for about the last 10 days, and it's been really helpful.  I think it's like they say with exercise or meditation more generally: better to do 20 minutes a day than an hour once a week.  So, with that impetus, for the last 7 days I haven't eaten any chocolate or biscuits, for the first time in at least a year.  And the last time was just because I couldn't eat that stuff due to morning sickness.  The last time I truly quit sugar of my own accord was at least two years ago.

This morning, my DH said he thought he could see I'd lost weight, so I decided to jump on the scales.  And yes, I'm down to 62.1k (just under 137 lbs)!  I believe this will be maintainable long term, I sure hope so!

Yay for Tapping

I'm not sure whether tapping has actually had an effect on my weight.  However, as I wrote yesterday, I've been doing it more regularly this week, and it gave me the confidence to step on the scales for the first time in months.  Since before my son was born, in fact!  Not that I thought the number there would make me happy, but rather that I felt I'd be able to deal with it, whatever it was.

Imagine my surprise, then, when the scales showed 64.6k (142.4lbs)!  That's lower than my weight when I first started writing this blog, by just over two kilos (2.2lbs).

It's true I've been working out - generally at least three times a week, and most often daily.  Not as much as I used to, sometimes just 20 minutes rather than an hour, but at least I've been keeping moving.  And I've been mixing it up a lot.   For instance, this week I've been on my static bike, done weights, stepping, and this morning I did 16 minutes of yoga (before baby woke up).  Hope to do another short workout later.

It's also true that I'd still like to lose a couple of kilos, and that I notice a lot of that extra weight is on my stomach, which they say is the least healthy place to put on weight.  So, I'll keep tapping, and hope that it comes off...

Monday Weigh-In

Today I weighed: 70.7 kilos (156 pounds). I've decided to look at this in two lights. Firstly, comparing it to my first weight on this blog (which serendipitously was just about a week before I conceived, so perfect as a pre-pregnancy weight): 66.8k . Secondly, compared to my last weight: 68k on 21st October - 6 weeks ago. So, that's a 4k weight gain overall in this pregnancy, and 2.7k in the last 6 weeks. Looking on a pregnancy/baby site, they say that, based on my pre-pregnancy weight, it would be normal for me to gain 11.5-16k over the course of this pregnancy, and to gain 0.4-0.5k a week during the second and third trimesters. So, that puts me at about the right level of weight gain for this point in my pregnancy, and for the last six weeks - yay!

BMI: 25.7

I felt: Upset that my son is still ill.

I thought: It's good to see that, despite some ups and downs, I'm not doing badly in terms of weight gain given I'm pregnant. Of course, losing it after the birth will be a different question, but hey, one step at a time.

I slept: 8 1/4 hours in 4 chunks - much better, though I could still have done with a nap *doh*

I worked out:  41 minutes of yoga.

I ate:  Approximately 100g chocolate cake and 17g chocolate - 117g total.

I am grateful for:  A kind and caring DH.

Weigh In and Catch-Up

Thursday

I slept: 8 1/4 hours - yay!

I worked out:  43 minutes of weights with Erin O'Brien's Strong Body, Ageless Body.

I ate:  Don't remember.

Friday

I weighed: 68k - 150 pounds

BMI: 24.68

I felt: Nervous about travelling, happy to have bought my son some new clothes for him to meet with family, and excited about the whole weekend.

I thought: That it's good that my weight gain has slowed. I've only put on 0.3kg (3/4 pound) in just under 3 weeks, making up for the ridiculous amount I put on in September.

I slept: 6 3/4 hours - stressed about travelling.

I worked out: 30 minutes of step with Tonya Larson's Step Pump. This is another of those videos I chose as a milder step workout. In that sense, it was okay, though it's a bit weird following the modifier, when what the presenter is cueing is often so different. One thing that didn't come up in the description on Collage was the fact that she's super-Christian, and have 4 "spiritual warm-ups", where she talks through passages from the Bible! Nope, haven't watched any of those yet ;)

I ate: No chocolate at all, just a vanilla pudding my aunt had made specially for me as she knows I don't eat tiramisu.

Saturday

I worked out: Nope! Not unless you count chasing after my son while he played football, which I don't ;)

I slept: 7 1/4 hours I think.

I ate: Totally lost track. Didn't have a scales about, and couldn't exactly weigh the slice of cake I had at my cousin's. Overall, I'm guessing over 250g.

Sunday

I worked out: 15 minutes of Ellen Barrett-style cardio-pilates (making it up for myself) and 20 minutes of yoga self-practice.

I slept: 7 1/2 hours - could have done with more.

I ate: Once again, lost track :(

Monday

I slept: 8 3/4 hours in 4 chunks.

I worked out: 51 minutes of step and weights intervals with Cathe's Body Fusion. Felt pretty exhausted by the end of it - did it with 2 kilo dumbbells.

I ate: 55g chocolate, 160g biscuits - 215g total. Over my preferred limit, but at least I feel back under control, more or less.

I am grateful for: Being back home, where I feel like I'm in charge of my time, my exercise, and my food.

Weigh-In

Yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment and they weighed me. I was a bit surprised at the weight (though it was fully dressed) so I decided I'd better weigh myself at home to check.

Today I weighed: 67.7kg (149 1/4 lbs)

BMI: 24.6

I felt: A little surprised by how much weight I've put on. I don't feel all that fat, but my bump is definitely prominent. I guess it's also that I've put on a lot of weight since I stopped feeling sick all the time. Not sure what the recommendations on baby weight gain are, I guess that's something I'll have to check with my consultant. Overall, I don't feel bad, still exercising regularly and eating lots of fruit and veg. I could definitely be eating less sweets, though!

I thought: When I conceived, I was at 66.8 kilos, so seen from that perspective, I've only put on 1 kilo (2 pounds) so far this pregnancy.

I slept: 8 1/2 hours in 4 chunks.

I worked out:  23 minutes of Jessica Smith's Better Body Blast (legs), and 18 minutes of dance aerobics with Nekea Brown. Didn't like the dance aerobics nearly as much as I liked her step aerobics. Ah well...

I ate:  20g of choc almonds and 18g of biscuits after lunch, 64g brownie finger and 29g non-choc biscuits after dinner. Total 131g - better.

I am grateful for: The fact I enjoy working out.

Quick Weigh-In

Today, for the first time in a while, I decided to do a weigh-in.  Although I haven't felt I had the time to write about it, I've been following an almost totally sugar-free diet since I went on blog hiatus.  Still working out daily, though a lot less cardio than before: mainly yoga, ballet, pilates and weights.

It's funny, because I do wonder whether decreasing my cardio decreases my appetite.  Yet, I do love cardio so...  Anyhow, this has been a strange time-out over the summer, and I can't claim credit for special powers of self-discipline, it's been kind of enforced on me by my family situation.

All this to say, I weighed in today at 63.3 kilos (139.5lbs).  Adding to that the fact that I got my height taken yesterday and was assured that I'm a centimetre taller than I thought I was, that puts my BMI at 23 exactly - woot!

On the down side, I dream of chocolate cakes with scary regularity, and have started salivating at the thought of poor quality chocolate I would normally turn my nose up at.  When things settle, I can't see this lasting...

Terrific Tuesday?

Courtesy of leoniedawson.com

This morning, I approached my scales with some trepidation.  I felt I should weigh myself, as it's been three weeks since I started this blog, and I've only weighed myself once since.  On the other hand, when I pulled on a clean pair of jeans yesterday, they still felt horribly tight (don't you just hate how clothes tighten up in the wash!)  So, I composed phrases in my head about being at my highest weight since 2004 (which would only be a bit above where I was when I started this blog).

I weighed: 64.8k - 2 kilos down on my start point!  However, I suspect a lot (all) of that is to do with having sweated buckets overnight due to this cold/flu bug I've got...

BMI:  23.8

I felt: Snotty. I hate not being able to breath!

I thought: About something I read from Leonie Dawson. She talked about productivity hacks, and especially "Riding Wild Donkeys". By which she means getting an idea and sticking with it til it's done, even if it's not perfect, and then letting it go. For example, she created her first planner in four marathon create-aholic days. And that's all well and good, but there are a lot of things in life that just don't work that way! For example, weight loss is definitely not a quick fix thing. It's about creating a structure that supports you, and sticking to it. It's not fun and exciting, and it doesn't give you immediate results.  

However, I also thought about how it might be possible to apply some of that Wild Donkey theory anyway. Could I create mini-chunks of task that would be fun and doable in a short time period, and would build up to something. I can see that in my work context, and have been doing something similar the last couple days, giving myself a new impetus and motivation. Not sure how to apply it to weight loss, though, so any thoughts would be much appreciated!

I slept: 7 1/2 hrs in 3 chunks.

I worked out:  46mins static bike while watching Criminal Minds, 15 mins stretch and abs.

I ate:  75g choc chip cookies. Below 100g, yay!

I am grateful for:   Whatever motivation I can find, even if it is illusory.

Father's Day

Today I weighed: 66.2 k

BMI: 24.3

I felt: Angry at my DH when he shouted at me for something that was totally not my fault, then guilty as I know he was just upset, and I hadn't done anything up til then to celebrate Father's Day, nor tell him what a great dad he is.

I thought: My weight might have dropped a bit, so I dared the scales. Yay, not much, but 0.6k is 1.3 lbs, and at least it's going in the right direction!

I slept: 8 hours in 3 chunks - excellent!

I did something new: 14 minutes of Hot Hula exercise. I quite like the concept, basically a lot like belly dance. I can see how it'd be good for the abs and the thighs (and arms if you use weights on them). However, the production values were terrible - could barely hear the instructor over the music. Plus, not having special weight belts, I wasn't getting much of a work out. I'd probably try it again, on a day when I've already done some "proper" exercise :D

I worked out:  After the hula I did 42 minutes of Cathe's Low Impact Step Challenge - now that's what I call a workout :)

I ate:  75g biscuits, 25g chocolate.

I am grateful for:  A relaxing weekend before a busy week.

Birthday Resolutions

What I watched while on the bike, and when I started.

Inspired by Eowyn's new Willowy Me blog, I decided perhaps I should try something to make me feel more accountable.  I have a bit of weight I'd like to lose, which feels like it gets harder and harder to shift now I'm in my forties.  So, I'll try to keep a daily log of a few things.  Not everything I eat, as that bores me.  As long as I only have a sweet treat after dinner, kept within reasonable amounts, I feel fairly confident I'll lose some weight.  Also, I'm not going to weigh myself every day, as I don't find that helpful (and I say this from experience, given there was a time in my life where I weighted myself several times a day). I'll just give an update on that as and when.

Today's Weight: 66.8k

BMI: 24.5

I felt: Generally okay.  Busy, not enough me-time, but quite nice social time.

I thought: When I woke up, I thought, "I'm 42 and I'm fat!"  Not a nice feeling.

I slept: 8 hours in 5 chunks.

I worked out: 46 minutes static bike, 9 minutes stretch.

I ate:  approximately 125g of chocolate and biscuits after dinner.