Another Bad Day

I felt: A bit useless, didn't do hardly any of the things I'd planned to do. Had to go into my son's school because they'd had an accident with his food and I had to take in extra. It took just over an hour of my time, but affected the whole day.

I thought: About the bad times, when I was throwing up on average twice a day, and exercising an average of 2 hours a day, bingeing horribly, and feeling awful. Then, I read a post about "Strong is the new sexy", and felt bad because I'm not lifting heavy, and I'm not watching what I eat. Not good thoughts, and I think that played into my eating :( I feel like I'm poisoning myself and my baby, and I'm not sure how to change my behaviour.

I slept: 8 hours in 4 chunks :)

I worked out:  45 minutes of Ellen Barrett's Slim Sculpt, a low-weight, high rep cardio-pilates workout.

I ate:  Bad day - 301g choc biscuits, 75g choc - total 376!

I am grateful for:  Knowing I am strong, fit and flexible, by my own definition.

News

I felt: Relief at having had good news. I think it was like a pressure cooker suddenly letting off steam. I ended up eating really badly :(

I thought: About how I'm not particularly enthusiastic about talking about the news I received, even though it's good. Unusual, I'm normally a loudmouth ;)

I slept: 6 1/2 hours in 5 chunks.

I worked out:  30 minutes of Sleek Sculpt Express with Ellen Barrett. I only used 1/2 kilo (1lb) weights, but still felt challenged.

I ate:  I started about 3pm, then had more after dinner :( 190g of chocolate, 100g chocolate biscuit, 200g sorbet/brownie/choc sauce - 490g = very, very bad!

I am grateful for:  Feeling so sick that I'm pretty much guaranteed not to do it again today.

Meditative Exercise

I felt: Entitled, nervous and lonely. Entitled because I haven't had sugar or chocolate for so long, nervous about the news I'm expecting tomorrow, and lonely because my DH was out for a boy's night. Altogether, it led to overeating, totally ignoring the advice of the cards :(

I thought: About how meditation and exercise are related. Doing some yoga in the middle of the night was very meditative. I've noticed this before with nighttime practices when I don't turn the lights on :)

I slept: 6 3/4 in 4 chunks

I worked out:  Got up at 2.45am, having been awake for 45 minutes already, and did half an hour yoga. I noticed a couple of twinges in my finger, but at least it calmed me so I could get back to sleep again! Later, I did Erin O'Brien's Strong Body, Ageless Body, a 43 minute weights workout aimed at old folk, but it's pretty good.

I ate:  80g choc, 50g mango sorbet, 140g choc florentines, 45g choc biscuits - total - 315 :((

I am grateful for:  Tomorrow being a new day.

Summer Sunday and Manic Monday

23rd June

I felt: Tired, but quite happy. Had a nice day with my family - my MIL came to visit, and our son was sweet and cheerful.

I thought: I should appreciate these good times, yet the health issues continue and put a damper on things.

I slept: 6 and 3 quarter hours, in 5 chunks.

I worked out:  45 minutes of weights - Erin O'Brien's Strong Body, Ageless Body. I like her perkiness, and that it's a low-impact workout.

I ate:  50g brownie, 75g choc biscuits.

I am grateful for:  Being able to exercise.

24th June

I felt: Tired and grouchy when I first got up. Had quite a productive day, getting back into the swing of things. Don't know why, though, I had a really bad day for cravings :(

I thought: What's the point, I'm never going to lose weight given the stresses in my life and the sleep issues. I remembered that they say poor sleep directly correlates with weight gain, and also a study with monkeys on the effects of stress on digestion. I know, bleak and unhelpful thinking :(

I slept: 7 and a quarter hours in five chunks.

I worked out: 52 minutes of Cathe Friedrich's Low Impact Step Challenge - fun :)

I ate: 120g brownie, ?60g doughnut, ?100g choc muffin, lost count of the number of Minstrels, rough guess 100g :((

I am grateful for: Tomorrow being a new day...